Archive Page 2

18
May
10

flip burgers? pay taxes? (seven)

The undead was inches from my face.  That’s when I thought about dying.  In that second, every unused riff and lyrics came to me at once.  I realized that if I died right there, so would all the music I still had to share with the world.  It was terrifying.  It was the first time in a long time that I felt like I could break down and cry.  There was no way Tiny, Jack, or Val would be able to go on with Living Lost… no way.  Right?  Then it occured to me maybe they could go on without me.  Could I be replaced?  Would it be that easy?  I can be like a leaf just blowing away in the wind… there one second, gone the next.  Now that’s dark thinking. 

        Then the real bad thought came to me… what would happen with the undead and the demons if I died?  Would they take over the world?  Or would they go away?  Were they just after me? 
        It was too much thinking for me at once.  There were a thousand voices, songs, lyrics, guitar licks, and drum beats going at once…. I closed my eyes and screamed.  I screamed a bad word.  For about a minute straight.  When I opened my eyes, the undead was gone.  The blinking light was gone.  Everything was gone.  I was all alone in the alley way.  It was just me, my guitar case, my notebook with lyrics, and my knives. 
        “Hey!” a voice yelled from behind me.
        I turned and there was a homeless man walking towards me.
        “What the fuck you doing?  This is my alley…”
        “Sorry,” I said to the man.  “I was just walking through.  From band practice.”
        “Band?  What band?”
        “Living Lost.”
        “What the fuck is that?  Band.  I played in a band.  Played the trumpet.  Then I got into a fight over a bitch and the fuckhead smashed my fingers one by one with a hammer.  Never played trumpet again.”
        “So that’s it?  You quit on life?”
        The homeless man walked past me.  He stunk like nothing I’ve ever smelled before.  He held up his hand.  All his fingers were crooked.  They were stumps, bones were out of place, even a nail was missing.
        “You do what you love,” the man said to me, “and when it’s gone, there’s nothing else.  Fuck that work shit.  What you gonna tell me?  Go flip burgers?  Why?  So I can pay taxes, go grocery shopping weekly, watch the news, become convinced I need a car and house to be happy?  Fuck you.”
        “Woah,” I said, “I never said that.”
        “Yea, well, get the fuck out of here.  And I meant it, fuck you.”
        I felt bad for the homeless man but I hurried and walked away.  I hoped that the undead or the demon didn’t return and take care of him.  That would be one smelly thing to kill.
        By the time I got home and settled, I was too tired to do anything.  I placed my guitarcase next to my bed and crashed, still wearing the same clothes.  I always stayed prepared.  I still had no idea how the undead worked nor the demons.  All I did know was that in the past week, the numbers kept growing… and my bandmates kept asking questions about what I did at night.      
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13
May
10

the clean up (six)

So now comes the million-dollar question. . . what happens when the undead or a demon die? Yes, I know that may seem confusing – the undead becoming dead again. In reality, they are already dead so they technically don’t die again, but for the purpose of writing this story, let’s assume they are “dead” again. The undead, well, they just lie there. Right where they died. The demons however are a little more interesting because they don’t die very easily. They don’t like to die so they disappear. And even when they are dead they disappear which bears the idea of how do I know when a demon is actually dead? I know, so much shit to think about at once. Before I walked through the field that one day, I would finish band practice and go home and play guitar. I’d jot lyrics, try to fix Tiny’s drum beats and spruce up Jack’s bass lines. I’m not into super traditional bass lines… I like different. For example, in the song “Madness Heart”, instead of using a bass line, Jack placed church bells on the keyboard. But not any church bells but the actual notes of song so it sounds perfect. Standing there looking at the demon cut in half, I should have took more knives and chopped it up good. I still hadn’t figured out the true secret of killing a demon. There was a chance that if I did cut it up into pieces, those pieces would disappear and then become the demon again. Or maybe worse – each piece would grow into a demon. Now that’s a scary thought. The demon kept talking and howling. Its language changed however… something like speaking tongues. I didn’t understand a word except that out of nowhere there was a red light glowing. I couldn’t find the source of the light but it was intense. Just a giant glowing red light. It started to get brighter and hotter. I looked over at my guitar case and knew knives wouldn’t help if I was going to be melted to death. I just hoped I died before my guitar melted… that would be such a horrible sight to see. After a minute or so, the demon disappeared. I was somewhat relieved because that I meant I could go home. However, the red light didn’t go away. I guess I still had some work to do. I turned around and saw the undead moving. To me it was impossible. The creature had been hollowed out by the demon and used a puppet. Unless the demon was back. But that wasn’t likely – once they get hurt, they tend to stay away for a while. The movements of the undead were in sync with the blinking light. It was like watching something move against a strobe light. Real trippy. It hurt my eyes and head. I tried to get a knife but I couldn’t reach my guitar case. Each time I went for it, the blinking red light kept an illusion that the case was further away. One time I even stumbled because the light had thrown off my balance. But not the undead. That thing was moving with ease in the light. I didn’t think I was going to die right then and there because what twenty year thinks about death? I knew I wasn’t invincible but I wasn’t even old enough to legally drink, so why waste the life? Maybe I should have been recalling favorite memories or maybe I should have scribbled some last lyrics or music on paper because the undead charged at me. It charged with speed and force and each time the red light blinked, the undead was closer and closer.

04
May
10

for the music (five)

“Does death welcome you?”
The demon’s voice growl like the heavy distortion on Val’s guitar when he doesn’t listen to me and turns the gain up too much. Demons always tried to talk by using rhetorical questions that had more meaning than value.
“Not tonight,” I said. “My fingers are sore. I’m working on a solo that has me doing a six fret stretch. I know, you’re thinking ‘why not just tap?’ But I can’t. I need to pick the string to give it the real sound I want it to have.”
The demon came charging at me. I’m talking full speed ahead. I have officially pissed it off. By showing no fear and actually mocking it by caring more about music than life or death, the demon was offended.
When the demon was a few feet away, I dropped down and grabbed a knife from the guitar case. I stood up and swung the knife. Lucky for me that the demon was close enough that I was able to cut it. See, these little guys are so tricky that from maybe a foot away or closer, they become real objects. Anything further, they are like a ghost. Actually, not even that. You can hit them from far away but they don’t get hurt nor die. But when they are close, they turn real. . .
The demon yelped in pain like a dog if you stepped on its tail. It hadn’t expected my quick move. Hell, I hadn’t expected my quick move. Things like that seemed to just happen for me. There was no training for what I had to do and there really wasn’t practice. It wasn’t like I could just go around throwing knives at people to perfect my aim. If that were so, then I’d be humming songs behind prison bars while the undead took over the world person by damn person.
My quick move had done more that I thought. The demon was split in half. Each half fell to the ground and bounced around like a fish out water. The scariest part of the whole thing was that each half of the demon was talking. . . talking about something different.
“Death will get all of you,” the one side said.
“To come is to exist and to exist is to die,” the other side said at the exact same time.
To hear the two voices talking like that. . . well, it inspired me.
I dropped to one knee and dug through my guitar case and luckily found a scrap piece of paper and pen. The demon was still squirming on the ground and I didn’t think I was in much danger, so I started to write what the demons two halves said. The things I do for my music. . .

29
Apr
10

Ugly Beautiful

29
Apr
10

Ugly Beautiful – lyrics

Ugly
So beautiful
I am so ugly

Staring in the mirror
At what’s looking back
You’re never gonna change that – no

You’ve got the judges and the juries
They’re looking down on us
They’re breathing fire
They’re breathing rust on us

How many have you killed
How many wars have you had
How much greed can you hold
In the palm of your hand?

How many lives have you taken
and broken?

I know what I am
I know what that I just am….

Ugly
So beautiful
Ugly
So beautiful
Ugly
Yet we’re beatiful
I am so ugly

Let the fights go on
Let the words get strong
There’s nothing that
You’ll ever change – yea

Just so broken now
There’s peace and suffering
You can’t live without either
To make it

Make it work now
Make the judges say
Eat their words
Like daggers to your heart

You’ve gotta fight it out
You know what you are
Don’t let them change you
I know that I am…

Ugly
Beautiful
Ugly
I am so beautiful
Ugly
We are so beautiful
Ugly

Ugly
We are so beautiful
Ugly
We are so beautiful
We are so ugly
We’re beautiful
We are so ugly
Beautiful
We are so ugly
We are so beautiful
We are so ugly…

26
Apr
10

Madness Heart – lyrics

A heart cannot know
what a heart must know
The heart only knows
what it’s shown
And what could be shown
is only what’s known
You could fill up your life
with things you think are real
You could fill up your eyes
with things you think you see
But what you have is nothing
A broken heart
An empty mind
A destroyed life
that you can never find

Madness
Madness
Madness

Madness in our sadness
where is the cries?
Madness in our sadness
where do where we lie?

Hide.

Madness
Sadness
Madness
Sadness

Where is the madness that hides
inside our sadness it cries.
Where is the madness that hides
withing the sadness it cries.

Madness
Madness
Sadness
Sadness

Where is the madness that hides
inside our sadness it cries.
Where is the madness that hides
withing the sadness it cries.

Your broken hearts you take them
Your broken eyes you break them
Your broken hearts you make them
Your broken eyes you take them

Where is the sadness that hides?
Where is the madness?

26
Apr
10

Madness Heart




Here ya go:

Meet the band:

Gage Sloane: lead singer / guitarist
Val: rhythm guitar / back up vocals
Jack R.I.P: bass / keyboards
"Tiny" Tim Mortusfire: drums

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