Author Archive for Jim Bronyaur


Hazel Tears

Hazel Tears


hazel tears (lyrics)

hazel tears
they fill my soul
you’re hazel tears
they flood my heart

we met
the world was falling apart
we left
just the way we came
I saw
everything that I felt
what I need
could come just from one
just one


hear the bells ringing
they call your name
hear the bells ringing
bleeding inside me
when we’re touching
we we;re running from
the demons
they keep on coming


I know
just what I’ve got
you know
just what you want
I cannot explain
every question you have
but I know…


When they’re chasing us
we just have to run
when they’re chasing us
oh my love
we’ve got to run
we’ve got to run
we’ve got to run

CHORUS until the end of the song…


a love story… (ten)

    “Seriously, what are we doing?”

    It was the third time Isabelle asked me that.

    “I’m going to watch this guy kill that woman and then I’m going to kill both of them.”

    Isabelle let out a forced laugh as if she were laughing at a very bad joke.  I only wished it was a joke.

    “I’m serious.  Stay close.”

    The woman finally sealed her fate when she turned right… down the alley, behind all the stores that the Chinese owned.  Everyone in town called it China Plaza because it had a Chinese restaurant, a nail salon, a cigarette shop, and a pet store.  All run by the same Chinese family. 

    Out of breath the woman stopped and dropped her purse.

    “Take it!” she screamed.

    The undead walked up to her and grabbed her throat.

    “Do something!” Isabelle yelled at me.

    “I can’t,” I said, “it’s what happens.”

    “Fuck you then,” she said and started to walk away.

    I grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

    “That person isn’t a person.  He’s a creature.  And if you go close enough, he’s going to bite you and change you into the undead.  Yes, that’s right.  The undead.  It’s real.  Don’t ask me how or why because I don’t know.  What I do know is that my job is to fucking kill those creatures.”

    “But the woman….”

    Isabelle cared so much about the stranger.  It was odd coming from a girl who had just shoplifted. 

    “Can’t you do anything?” she asked.

    Could I?  Sure.  What could I do?  I don’t know… I never thought that way.  I figured let him change her and then kill them both.  Why not?  I’d done it before. 

    “She can’t know this stuff,” I said.  I felt like I was whining… fuck it, I probably was.  “You shouldn’t even know this stuff…”

    Isabelle watched as the undead tightened its grip on the woman’s neck.  She thrashed and screamed.  She pointed to us.  The undead looked at me, then Isabelle.  Then the fucking thing smiled and let the woman go.  The creature pointed at Isabelle and licked its lips.  I put my arm out and pushed her behind me.  She pinched my ass. 

    The undead grunted.  I knew it was bracing for an attack.

    The woman stood against the brick wall and watched in what could only be shock.  The undead started to charge towards me.  I knew it wanted Isabelle.  I instinctively looked down hoping for my guitar case, but fuck, it wasn’t there.  It was back in the garage.  That was the one and only time I forgot my guitar case. 

    “Give me the CD,” I said to Isabelle.

    “The what?”

    “The fucking CD.  The one you stole.  Get me the fucking CD or we’re dead.”

    The undead moved towards me.  I could hear Isabelle wrestling with the plastic on the CD.

    “Hurry up,” I said.

    “Shut the fuck up, I’m trying,” Isabelle yelled.

    The undead was too close for comfort.  I did the only thing I could think of… the cheapest move possible… I kicked the thing in its nuts.  I swore against that move my entire life, but I wasn’t going to die on account of my own personal beliefs… fuck that.  The undead stopped and looked down for a second.  I don’t think it felt any pain – maybe it was confused.  Whatever it was, it was the one second I needed.  Isabelle handed me the CD and I cracked it in half.  I heard her gasp – I know, another ruined Type O Negative CD.  I jammed the broken CD into the undead’s throat.  I wasted no time and took the second half and stabbed it in another part of its throat.  The creature started to thrash and back up.  I looked to my left and saw the back door of the Chinese restaurant was propped open.  Without notice, I opened the door and ran inside.  I heard both Isabelle and the woman start to scream.  They must have thought I was leaving.  I wasn’t.  I ran into the kitchen and found the biggest knife I could.  Some Chinese man yelled at me but I couldn’t understand him.  Part of me wanted to turn around and yell, “I return this in ten min-ne”… but I didn’t have time to do so.

    I ran out the back door and charged at the undead.  One stab to the chest, three more to the throat, and it was on the ground.  Then I gave it four kicks to the head and the creature was dead. 

    “What the fuck?” the woman yelled with her back still against the wall.

    “He didn’t pay his bill,” I said holding up the knife.  I smiled.  The woman didn’t.  I know, it was a shitty joke.

    “Why the fuck are you still standing here?” Isabelle yelled at the woman.  “He’s a killer!  We’ve been chasing him for months.  Took out four women two counties over.”

    “Who the fuck are you?” the woman cried out.

    “Who the fuck are you?” Isabelle screamed.  She reached into her purse and pulled out a badge, yes, a badge.  “We’re undercover.  You want to come in for questioning?”

    The woman shook her head.

    “Then get the fuck out of here!  And if you say a word to anyone, I’ll hunt you down and take you in!”

    It shouldn’t have worked, but it did.  The woman ran… ran like hell…

    “That was amazing,” I said.  “You didn’t steal that badge from a cop, did you?”

    “Nope,” Isabelle said in such a calm voice… I couldn’t believe she wasn’t bothered by the rotting undead at our feet.  “So, what’s this about?”

    “Long story,” I said.

    Isabelle took my hand… “I’ve got time.  You owe me a date.  And a new CD.”

    (And thus began a fucking love story…)



Below is a bit of poetry I wrote after I met Isabelle… I hate finding this shit laying around but I figure I’d share it to help you understand the story once it’s told…

With death in my hands –
I fall into you.
I fall into the nothing that has –
become everything.
There’s a timeless moment –
it burns.
It burns to the bury the existence –
of my soul.

I remember their callous looks…
I remember their degrating stares…
I remember their everything they felt I shouldn’t be…
They screamed with their eyes…
They screamed…

Then I had you.
I became deaf to the evil of life –
I became blind to the ugly of reality –
I became stone. 



she… (eight)

I met Isabelle at a music store.  It was a perfect, fall in love at first sight thing.  I was storming through some CD’s like a madman looking for a Type O Negative CD.  More specifically, I was looking for Bloody Kisses.  The night before, I put the CD on Jack’s amp and he sat on the case and cracked the CD and all.  I wanted to cry… how was I going to make it through the night without being able to hear the deep bellows of “Corpus Christi” crawling in my ears? 

        Anyways, there was one copy of Bloody Kisses left and as I reached for it, so did Isabelle. 

        Her soft hand touched mine and I felt my heart flutter… and my pants.  (Give me a break, I was nineteen then!)  She had long black hair that hide some of her face.  I stood in awe.  But what did it for me was that she didn’t pull her hand back from the CD.  She held tight as did I.  She turned her head and smiled at me as if to say, ‘I’m the girl so let it the fuck go’.  Normally, I would have just let it go.  Yes, the big bad band guy like me is nothing more than a big pushover… or at least when it comes to most situations.  Honestly, if she had taken the last copy of the CD I would have just went to the other music store, the one in the mall.  See?  No big deal.

        I don’t know how or why I did it, but I asked her her name.  I never did things like that.

        “Why do you want to know my name?” she asked.  She lifted the CD and I watched as she tucked it gently into her bag.

        “I don’t know,” I replied like a dork.

        My eyes went to her bag and then back to her eyes.

        “What?  You going to tell on me?” she asked.

        “Not unless you go out with me,” I shot back without thinking about it.

        “Go where?” she asked stepping closer to me.  I could feel my entire body heating up.  My mind raced and I couldn’t find anymore words… except: 

        “I’m in a band.”

        “What does that have to do with going out?”

        “I sing.  Play guitar.  Write music.  My drummer is really tall.  But we call him Tiny.  It’s pretty funny.”

        I felt like two people for a second – one word dumping all over this beautiful girl and another watching as I word dumped all over the beautiful girl.

        “Okay, you can totally shut up now,” she finally said.

        I felt my face turn red.  I fucking hate that about myself… I can’t control it… if something happens that is out of the norm, I turn red.

        “You can still take me out,” she said stepping closer.

        Something caught my eye.  I watched as a woman was walking down the sidewalk holding her purse tight to her side.  It didn’t take me long to realize that one of the undead was chasing the woman.  Now this puts me in a tough place because I couldn’t just start yelling because honestly who would believe me?  I was just some kid in baggy jeans with a faded Metallica t-shirt… not to mention the earrings.  Oh dear, the earrings.  Maybe it’s generational or something but when people look at me, the go for the earrings first then to the hole in my jeans.  I hate being judged.  But anyways… the story at hand here…            I had to play it cool with Isabelle as I watched the undead stumbling after this woman.  Now, I’m sure you’re thinking, why didn’t anyone else see it or care?  Ah, this is where the undead get tricky.  However they are dressed when they turn is how they remain.  This undead was in suit and tie.  Holding a briefcase.  In shoes that probably cost more than my first Gibson I bought at the guitar shop on Linden Ave.  So to someone looking, it was a woman hurrying down the street and a few feet behind was a man in nice clothes.  To the “normal” eye it didn’t seem strange.  But for me, I could tell the signs… I don’t know those signs were, but I just had the feeling.

            “You want to go out but now you’re ignoring me?” Isabelle asked.

            “I’m not… ignoring… you,” I said walking by her.

            “Asshole,” she shouted.

            I turned and smiled.  I point to her bag and then to the man behind the counter.  Her faced turn white.  I did what I thought was the coolest thing in the world… I blew her a kiss.  I was officially in control of the new relationship we had.  But first, I had business to take care of…

            So I charged out of the store. 

            I crossed the street and started to follow the undead and the woman.  It pissed me off and boggled my mind as to why the undead were so hellbent on taking over Earth but yet they wouldn’t attack in broad daylight.  There I was, making a move on a girl who actually talked to me.  And there was one of the undead, trailing behind this poor woman.  I figured the undead wouldn’t want to be seen eating people and changing them into the undead in public… they’d get killed quick.  I know it because one time there was a drunk man standing in the middle of the road throwing the finger.  He had a swaying stance as he stood on the yellow line in the road.  Somebody mentioned he was a zombie and I swear to you that a hoard of people attacked the man.  Beat him to the ground with their fists, with their belts… one man even used a tire iron.  When all was said, the drunk man lay in the middle of the road in a heap of bloody flesh.  The police didn’t know who to arrest and at that point, I had band practice so I left.  People nowadays are so fucking hostile.  So quick to fight and kill…

        The woman turned right when I would have turned left.  She kept going straight when I would have turned right.  Then again, I couldn’t be that mad – she didn’t know who I was and that I was going to try and help.  But in reality, as sad as it was, she was already dead.  If I killed the undead, she’d have questions.  Then what?  I can’t kill a human, never.  My only choice was to let the undead change her and kill them both.

        “Hey, what the fuck are you doing?”

        I was still walking and was so focused on that woman’s movements, I didn’t even notice that Isabelle had caught up to me.

        “Hey,” I said.  Then I realized…. “Wait, you can’t be here.”

        “Fuck you, I can’t.  What the fuck is this?  Some kind of drug deal?”

        I looked at her burning hazel eyes and felt my heart flutter… I hate saying that.  But it was true.  I knew that I was in love with her.  And if she was going to love me and we were going to be in love…. well… she’d have to know everything…

        “No drug deal,” I said, “but that would be more believeable.  Stay right next to me or else you’re going to fucking die.”

        Isabelle moved closer to me and took my hand.

        “That was kind of hot,” she whispered into my ear.




1,000 – lyrics


1000 times

1000 times

1000 times I’ve tried to find my way out of here

I’ve tried I cannot see why

1000 times I will not die

1000 cries I cannot care

I don’t know why

I don’t

I don’t

1000 times

1000 times


1000 times

that I’ve lived I’ve been I’ve died

I’ve been I’ve died

I’ve been

1000 time

when I tried

I played my life nightmare they come to life

they’re chasing me

getting me

1000 times

1000 times I’ve died but I come back

come back

come back

he comes back

1000 times

1000 times

1000 times I swear that I’d run

I’d run

I’d run

I’d run

I’d run

I’d run



1000 times I’ve been myself I’ve tried so hard

I play it in my mind

I run away

I face the time

but my nightmares they

they come to life

they chase me

get me

judge me

take me

taste me

love me

hate me

be me

be me

1000 times

1000 times

1000 times

1000 times


running now

running out

running now

running out

running now

Here ya go:

Meet the band:

Gage Sloane: lead singer / guitarist
Val: rhythm guitar / back up vocals
Jack R.I.P: bass / keyboards
"Tiny" Tim Mortusfire: drums

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